Power Center
hmmm...mornin'...gotta get up...
Slowly waking up from a sound sleep, Xander tried to yawn and stretch...
"Mmm...rrr?"
...but couldn't because he was...stuck?
Huh?
"Mmmmrphft!"
Damn it, not again! When is that devious motherfucker going to get over his weird little abduction fetish? I'm starting to feel like Robin the hostage sidekick, except I have to deal with way more gay subtext than the Batman comics ever did! Well...I actually fucked my Bat-villain, so I guess maybe I should throw "subtext" out the window.
Yanking at the leather cuffs, Xander was extremely irritated to find himself gagged with a red silky scarf and chained to the bed, wearing nothing but his plaid flannel boxer shorts. After shaking the sleep from his eyes and looking around the room, he realized he was still at home, in his own bed.
How did Spike get into my apartment? I never invited him in!
Even more puzzling, he thought he recognized the black manacles. He tugged his wrist a little closer to get a better look. Yes, they were definitely the set of restraints Anya had given him as a birthday present last year.
What? I thought we'd lost these when Spike left them at the cabin...oh, god...where's Anya?
He tried to call out for his wife, his cries muffled by the gag. Xander pulled himself up into a seated position against the wooden headboard, and tried to listen for any sign that Anya or Spike were outside the room.
Nothing. The apartment was silent. There were no sounds of anyone talking or moving about in his home. Xander groaned and tried as hard as he could to pull the leather restraints away from the headboard, but knew he didn't have much of a chance.
Spike must have convinced Anya to invite him in when I wasn't around. I'll bet he broke in last night and drugged me again! Shit, he must have Anya, too! Damn him! I'll stake the bastard if he harms so much as one hair on her head. He's not going to use her as his bargaining chip, no way!
He screamed against his gag, kicking all the covers off the bed in a full-fledged tantrum as he tried yet again to free himself. After exerting himself and accomplishing nothing, he reluctantly accepted that he wasn't going anywhere until someone let him go, and slumped against his bonds.
This isn't funny. I am completely unamused. It wasn't funny the first time he pulled this kidnapping crap, but it really, really isn't funny now. I wish I didn't grab that Super Big Gulp on the way home last night. Damn it, I have to pee!
After over an hour of squirming and trying desperately to think of anything besides the urge to urinate, the large potted plant next to the bedroom window started to look very promising. Xander shifted on the bed uncomfortably. He moaned and tried not to listen when he heard the faint sound of his upstairs neighbor's sink running, followed by the sound of a toilet flushing.
I hate him hate him hate him!
Before Xander could work out the complex logistics of peeing into the ficus from five feet away with both arms tied to the bed, he heard the front door being unlocked.
"Mmmlp! Mmmlp!" He banged his arms against the headboard and tried to make as much noise as possible to attract the attention of whoever was entering the apartment.
Please don't be Spike, please don't be Spike...I don't care how embarrassing it would be to have the building super find me chained to the bed, but please be Mr. Schneider here to fix the leaky faucet!
The bedroom door flew open, and a smoking figure covered by a wool blanket barged into the room. Not puffing-a-cigarette smoking, but almost-in-flames smoking. The fire alarm chirped warily, roused by the wafting smoke in the room.
Damn!
Xander tensed on the bed, ticked off that his captor had arrived before he'd figured out how to escape.
"Awright! Awright! I'm moving! Christ, what part of the vampire mythos regarding 'burned by direct sunlight' do you fail to understand?" wailed Spike as he tumbled onto the bed. Xander grunted and kicked the smoking vampire off the mattress onto the floor.
"Ouch!" yelped Spike. "Go easy on me, you little bugger! I'm feeling extra-crispy today, thanks to that pissy little banshee!"
Xander gulped as he watched Anya stride into the room, looking every bit as tough and intimidating as Arnold Schwartzenegger in the Terminator movies. She was sporting his trusty Super Soaker, and she let loose a stream of water at the crouching vampire, eliciting another agonized wail.
"Be quiet, or you get another blast of holy water. And I'm not a banshee, I'm a vengeance demon. A very upset vengeance demon, I might add. A vengeance demon with over a thousand years of experience torturing philandering jerks like you. You'd do well to remember that, Spike. Sit in the corner and behave, now!" She leveled the water rifle at him to prompt him to obey.
Spike huddled under the blanket and scowled at her, but did as he was told, muttering under his breath.
Xander cringed as Anya's implacable gaze turned to him.
I'm a dead man. I am so deader than Spike. She's gonna boil me alive, break every bone in my body, pull off my eyelids and make me watch 'Oprah.' I'm finished!
Anya walked over and sat down on the bed. She looked angrier than he had ever seen her before, her eyes red but determined, her cheeks flaming. All the strength left Xander's body, and suddenly he forgot about having to take a whiz. Anya knew, and that's all he could worry about right now. He was overcome with fear as she tugged the gag from his lips.
"I'm sorry, honey. Please forgive me..." Xander's pleas were cut off with a sharp slap. Spike laughed quietly from the corner, but stopped when Anya threatened him with the gun again.
I'm such a bastard. I deserve this. I should have fought harder, not given in. I'm such a slut...when will I ever learn not to be such a cheater? How could I be so stupid, so weak? Now I've lost everything!
"You should have told me, Xander. Why didn't you tell me?" demanded Anya.
Spike piped up with a response. "Oh, I was getting all set to tell you, but lover boy here wouldn't..." Anya squirted Spike with the Super Soaker again, and he howled angrily before promising to shut up.
"I don't know," said Xander sadly. "I-I didn't know how to tell you. I never wanted to hurt you, baby. I tried to stop, honest...god, I'm so sorry. Please believe me. Spike means nothing to me. I can't even stand him! This whole thing got out of control, and I didn't know what to do." He turned away from her, completely ashamed. "I deserve whatever you plan to do to me, Ahn." He shivered as she grasped his jaw and turned him to face her again.
"I know," replied Anya.
"You know...you know what?" he asked sheepishly. "You know that I deserve to have my ass kicked from here to eternity for betraying you? How did you find out? Did he tell you? I'm sorry I was such a gutless jerk and didn't tell you myself. I'm sorry I lied to you."
She slapped him again, tears in her eyes. "You should be sorry! That's why you were fighting in the Magic Box, isn't it? Some kind of lovers' quarrel! But you said it was nothing! Why do you have to be such a...such a man! Lying and covering things up, sneaking around with him behind my back! I thought you were better than that!" Anya's words crushed him, hurting more than anything Spike had ever done to him.
I'm so worthless for hurting her like this! I wish Spike had killed me last night!
But then she softened, and she caressed his reddened cheek, her voice choked with emotion. "Don't you know that you could have told me anything, Xander? For better or for worse, and having orgasms with Spike when I'm not around definitely falls into the 'worse' category, I'm your wife! I agreed to stand by you, no matter what happens. But I won't tolerate any secrets between us. You don't know how awful it felt finding out about you and Spike from the answering machine!"
"Huh? The answering machine recorded everything? Ugh! I'm so stupid!" asked Xander. If his hands weren't bound, he would have smacked his forehead in disgust. Instead he just hung his head, feeling incredibly lame.
"The message just confirmed what I already knew. I first started getting suspicious when I got a call from the county sheriff's office last week. It seems somebody broke into a cabin in the woods and vandalized it, but they left a piece of evidence behind." She glared at Spike, who sat in the corner with an innocent "who, me?" look on his face.
Anya got up and opened the closet, pulled out her black goodie bag, and tossed it on the foot of the bed. Xander blushed, unable to suppress his memories of what had happened the last time he'd seen the bag.
"I know why you want me, pet. You're hoping I'll rip you apart, hoping I'll fuck you raw, hoping I'll make you scream."
He couldn't forget the moment he tossed his love for Anya aside, and pleaded with Spike to fuck him, damn the consequences. How he had surrendered himself to the creature he hated more than anyone else.
Well, except maybe Angel.
"They found my name on the luggage tag and called me at work to question me. Yes, the police grilled me! I felt like a suspect on Law and Order! I panicked and almost confessed to murders I didn't commit, until they told me to calm down, they were just investigating a break in and that they'd found my bag at the crime scene. I told them the truth, that I had no idea how my erotic paraphernalia ended up in that cabin, that perverts with no qualms about taking previously used sex toys must have stolen them. I should have realized immediately that Spike had something to do with it."
Spike told Anya to sod off, and was thanked with a new blast from the Super Soaker. He growled and tried to hide under the scorched blanket.
"Because I had an alibi, the police didn't arrest me. They shipped the bag back to me...minus a couple of items, I noticed. I faxed a letter to the sheriff's office demanding the immediate return of my nipple clamps and Wahl Coil vibrator."
Anya sat down on the bed again. "But it wasn't just the bag in the cabin that started me thinking. You've had nightmares ever since we got married, Xander! At first, I thought it was just you being terrified of commitment...as usual. But you talk in your sleep. When I heard you say his name, I knew. They weren't just nightmares, they were sex dreams. Scary dreams where Spike hurt you, Xander. But they weren't just dreams, were they? He really did the things you talked about in your sleep...he really does scare you, doesn't he?"
"The whelp, scared? Nah! He may complain a little, but he loves it when I give it to him. The rougher the better, he can't get enough of it." Spike stood up and dropped the blanket, stalking over to the bed. "Burn me all you want, Anya, but you can't change the fact that your husband lusts after me. Tell her, Xander..."
"Stop it!" cried Xander. Trapped on the bed, he wished he could escape the man who had ruthlessly tormented him these past weeks, run away from the wife he had betrayed. He tried to hide his face in his arm, his cheeks red with shame.
"No, it's all out in the open now, Xander. Fess up. Tell Anya about how you begged me to fuck you the night before you got married. Tell her about that time in the shop basement, where you let me bugger you while she waited upstairs!"
It was the truth. Spike's words hung in the air, blowing in the wind like stained sheets put out to dry, where no matter how many times you washed them, they would never come clean. Anya sat there, silent and still, and Xander would have given anything if he could pull the truth down and hide it away somewhere where she would never find it again.
Xander shuddered as he was besieged with dark memories of Spike, pinning him to the wall, unclamping his hand from his mouth, whispering into his ear. Xander had been petrified. He could have, should have screamed for help...but he didn't. He tried to fight his own desires, but Spike's insistent hard-on had bullied him into submission. Spike had left him an embarrassing reminder that night, and not just the autograph. After enduring a hard, dry fuck it had felt like sitting on shards of glass when Xander joined his friends after their encounter. But what hurt even more was that by giving in to Spike, he'd broken his marriage vows once again.
Spike chuckled with vicious glee as he stood over the distraught young man. Anya sat quietly on the bed, her hand shaking slightly over her mouth as tears ran down her face. "Tell her about last night, when you screwed me on the hood of your car..."
stop, stop, stop can't handle this too much
"No, don't do this to me anymore, please," protested Xander, unwilling to look at Spike or Anya. "Spike, please, just leave me alone! Why can't you just stay away from me?"
It doesn't matter what I say. He won't ever change. He'll keep on coming for me. He knows I don't have the willpower to make him quit. I can hold him off for a short time, but he knows I can't deny him forever. He knows how addicted I've become.
"Isn't he lovely when he begs, Anya? Makes me want to shag him right now, right in front of you. That's all the little whore is good for, you know...fucking. That's the only reason you married him, right?" chuckled Spike cruelly.
Anya stood up and slapped Spike, but he just grinned. In the blink of an eye, he had her wrapped in his arms, nuzzling her neck as she struggled against his grip.
"Let her go! Stop it, Spike! Don't you dare touch her, or I'll kill you!" cried Xander as he wrestled with the cuffs holding him prisoner on the bed.
"Silly bint. I've already had the groom, time to sample the bride!" He kissed Anya roughly on the lips, his fingers digging into her forearms.
"Urk!"
The vampire gurgled painfully and released Anya's arms as she bit down on his tongue like a pit bull. He lifted his arm to strike her, and immediately keeled over in pain, clutching his head as the chip delivered a jolt to his nervous system. He pulled away, and she wiped the blood from her lips.
"Ick! How can you like that taste? Blood is so disgusting!"
"Thee bith me! The bith athually bleethin' bith me!" Spike ran into the living room, and was about to leave out the front door until he realized it was broad daylight outside. He wandered into the kitchen and grabbed paper towels to stave off the bleeding instead. "Ith a good thing vampth heal fath, you litthle bith!"
"That'll teach him to treat women with more respect. Look, I've heard enough. I listened to the tape, Xander. He blackmailed you to meet with him. I know Spike's been playing head games with you. I only wish you had told me sooner, honey, so we could have figured out how to deal with him together."
"You...you don't want to kill me? Exact your revenge for having an unfaithful husband?" asked Xander tentatively.
"Never, Xander. Oh, I'm plenty angry with you right now, mister, for keeping this a secret and not trusting me. I'm through with the vengeance business. I love you, and unlike some people in this room, I would never, ever hurt you. I don't care that you had orgasms with Spike. Sex isn't love. As long as you only love me, that's all that matters."
"No worries there," sighed with Xander with relief. "I do love you, Anya. Only you. But are you sure you aren't jealous? I mean, he might have intimidated me, but I let him do those things to me. You said you don't want any secrets, so here's the truth: sex with Spike...it's incredible, but I'm not sure I can explain it."
"Tell me, honey. I want to understand," she asked. "Because right now, I don't know why anyone would want to have anything to do with Spike!"
"I know! I can't believe it myself. With you, sex is always fantastic because we love each other. You could wear a chimpanzee suit and shove bananas up my ass, and you'd still turn me on, 'cause you're my Anya."
"Really?" Anya looked intrigued at the possibility.
Note to self, don't buy bananas this month.
"But with Spike, it's not making love. It's fucking. Pure, raw sensation. It's exhilarating knowing that there's only a tiny little piece of metal in his brain that keeps him from ripping me apart every time we fuck. Literally. The bastard is obsessed with wanting to bite me, lemme tell you. Fucking Spike is like skydiving, swimming with sharks, or climbing Mount Everest. It's a danger rush!"
"Xander, I don't want him to bite you. He can give you pleasure, but I draw the line at biting. I don't want a soul-free husband who sleeps all day and can't take me to the beach."
"You're really not jealous?"
Anya kissed Xander, smoothing the tousled curls out of his face. "When you're at work, sometimes I engage in autoerotic stimulation and have multiple orgasms. Are you ever jealous of my vibrator?" Xander laughed and shook his head. "It's the same thing. I have pleasure moments when you're not around, and that's okay. Far be it from me to deny anyone the opportunity to achieve sexual climax." She glanced over at Spike, who was pacing outside in the living room with his hand clamped over his tongue, muttering unintelligibly.
"That's all Spike is. A big walking, talking sex toy with batteries that never need to be recharged," Anya proclaimed. "He may be able to give you lots of orgasms, but I know you'll never love him, and you'll never leave me for him."
Spike stopped pacing and pointed at Anya. "Hey! I heard that! You should talk, you big nympho! Yeah, right, like you two have such a beautiful, complex loving relationship. You bang each other like bunnies, and call it love? Puh-leaze!"
"Xander! Make him stop with the bunny talk, he's making me queasy!"
"That's enough, you two. Spike, we don't have to prove anything to you. Honey, if you're not going to kill me, can you please let me out of these things?" He motioned to the leather restraints. "Unless you want to watch Spike getting off on me wetting the bed, I've really gotta go."
"No, don't let him out, I still haven't fucked him yet," blustered Spike. "The little cocktease hasn't let me dip my wick for more than a week, and I'm bloody horny!"
"Shut up!" cried Xander and Anya in unison. She unbuckled the straps, and Xander raced to the bathroom to relieve himself. He moaned as he finally emptied his tortured bladder.
"Need any help in there?" asked Spike.
"No! Jesus, can't a guy take a piss in peace?"
"Pervert," snorted Anya, crossing her arms.
"Other pervert," sniffed Spike, grabbing his crotch lewdly. The two looked at each other, and wicked smiles crossed their faces. After Xander returned from the bathroom, the ex-demon and the vampire both eyed him like hungry wolves.
Uh oh
"You've been very, very bad, Xander. "We're going to have to teach you a lesson about keeping secrets," intoned Anya seriously.
We? *gulp*
Xander started to back away from the advancing pair, not sure that he liked the look in their eyes.
"Does this mean I get to play with him?" asked Spike excitedly.
"Be my guest," offered Anya. Spike growled and lunged at the startled young man before he could escape into the living room, knocking him to the ground.
"Ahn, no, wait...mmmph!" Spike covered Xander's lips with his own, and he could taste a faint trace of blood as he succumbed to the vampire's fierce kiss. Spike ripped off the flannel boxers as he devoured Xander's mouth greedily.
"Hey, watch it! I just bought those," scolded Anya. "You're buying him new underwear. I'll send you the bill later."
Xander moaned and struggled against the vampire pressing him to the floor, embarrassed to be taken in front of his wife. His eyes beseeched Anya as Spike suckled his neck and collarbone, fisting Xander's cock impatiently as the human squirmed beneath him.
"Quit wigglin' so much! I don't know why you always have to fight me, pet. You know you want this as much as I do, so let's just get on to the fun part!"
Anya knelt by her husband, and put a soothing finger to his lips, and he ceased his struggles. "Trust me." She bent over and kissed him, and Xander was struck by the strangeness of having two separate pairs of lips nibbling at him. He whimpered against Anya as he felt Spike envelop his cock in his cool, wet mouth.
The warmth of Anya's slow, loving kiss was a jarring contrast to Spike's frenzied attack on his aching cock. Spike hummed as he sucked Xander's shaft, the vibrations producing ripples of sensation. Xander's body felt like a rushing river, in constant movement, as he arched himself deeper into Spike's eager mouth, his hands flowing over Anya's breasts as they dove into their kiss.
Is this a dream? Is it possible to feel this good? Please don't wake me up yet! This is way better than the naked Walmart dream!
Xander moaned when Spike slid his lips off the head of his penis, teasing the tip with his rough tongue. Spike took Anya's hand and placed it on Xander's reddened cock, and she pumped him while Spike removed his own clothing.
The vampire's face, neck, and arms were riddled with burns, but he didn't seem to care. He licked his hand and rubbed off a large patch of soot on his forearm as he stood naked before the entangled couple, lacking any trace of modesty. He grinned as he waggled his cock for Anya's benefit.
"After you pre-heat the oven, girl, I'm gonna stuff the turkey with this," he laughed.
Did he really just say that? And people think my jokes are bad!
"Unh...oh yeah, right there Ahn...just shut up and fuck me Spike, and I don't wanna hear any Thanksgiving Day football jokes about tight ends and wide receivers, either."
"American football is for pussies. Cricket, now there's a sport!"
Anya smiled at the sight of Spike's wiry blond curls and generous-sized penis as he knelt down between Xander's legs and lifted one of his thighs.
"I can see why you liked it, honey," she whispered as her nimble fingers stroked Xander's cock. Engulfed in pleasure, Xander couldn't respond with anything but a nod and a sigh. "Not as pretty as yours, but very big! You could sell advertising space on that thing! Does Buffy know how well-endowed Spike is? Because if she knew..." Xander interrupted her babbling by kissing her again.
"'Course he likes it. Trust Spike to know exactly what our boy here needs. Right, kiddo?" Grabbing Anya's hand cream from the dresser, he poured some onto his palm.
Spike slid his slick fingers into Xander's passage, hooking his fingers inside, tickling his prostate. "Please, yes," he murmured as Spike slowly banged him. A moan escaped from somewhere deep within, the sound and pleasure flowing through his entire body like water rushing out of a dam, and after a few more thrusts into Anya's clever fingers, Xander ejaculated all over her hand.
Spike removed his fingers, eliciting a disappointed grunt from Xander, until Anya rubbed his slick seed gently into his anus, gently teasing the puckered hole. Xander was bathed in that familiar mix of anticipation and fear as he prepared to be overwhelmed by Spike's cock.
"Ahn, let me touch you when he's inside me," begged Xander. He didn't resist as Spike repositioned him on his hands and knees on the bedroom floor like an obedient slave kneeling before his master. Anya slipped out of her short skirt and top. She kissed Xander again before sliding her hips below him, her ginger curls moist and ready. He trembled as he felt Spike cupping his buttocks, his cool hands sliding across his cheeks as he parted them, and then entered him. He let out a sharp grunt as Spike's cool, unforgiving cock filled him, the sweet pain bringing tears to his eyes.
"Unh! Such a gorgeous tight ass he has, Anya, too bad all you've got is a dildo," Spike chuckled as he adjusted to the feel of hot, captive Xander clamped around his cock. "There isn't anything like this. Almost as good as killing people."
"Mmmf! I guess that make sense. It always feels like I'm dying," groaned Xander.
Anya leaned back and tilted her pelvis as Xander trailed kisses from her flat little abdomen to her hot, wet sex. His tears mixed with her musky juices as he delved into her, supporting himself above her hips as his tongue searched for her sensitive spots. Xander bucked against Spike's hips, driving his cock in deeper. Matching the rhythm of Spike's deliberate, hard thrusts, Xander's mouth beckoned for her release. With a contented moan, he buried himself into Anya's fuzzy, damp slit, twisting his tongue around her clitoris a few times before sucking at it.
"Mmmm...so beautiful, so sweet, Anya," he murmured as he teased her thigh with feathery kisses.
Feeling like I'm dying couldn't get any better, 'cause if I'm gonna go right now, at least I'll die happy!
He could feel her moist heat on his lips and chin, and her thighs fluttered from his intimate attention as Xander hastened his motions. She moaned deep in her throat as she guided her husband's head, shifting her hips slightly as he lapped at her with his swift, flickering tongue. She sucked her fingers and kneaded her own breast, teasing the pert little nipple to hardness.
Xander sighed and his elbows wobbled, barely able to support himself, as Spike increased his efforts and thrust into him with more intensity. Anya pushed Xander's face into her engorged sex again, urging him on.
"Don't stop, don't stop!" She begged.
"I won't," groaned Spike as he pounded into Xander. "Pushy wench!"
Spike reached around and felt for Xander's cock, and coaxed it to rise again with rapid jerks. Xander nearly screamed, and latched his mouth onto Anya's thigh to contain his cries as Spike pumped his cock roughly and stabbed him with such force that his arms buckled beneath him. Anya humped Xander's face with her pelvis while Spike pounded into his backside, and his thoughts lost all cohesion.
Xander knew nothing but flesh, sweat, pain, heat, pleasure. His body no longer felt like his own, swept away by his lovers. Xander existed only to fuck and be fucked, and nothing else mattered. He came again in a mushroom cloud of super-heated pleasure, his body exploding with the sensations of being pushed, pulled, prodded as they drained his energy to satisfy their own desires.
Anya moaned, her sex shuddering against Xander's lazy lips as she came in slow waves, slumping on the floor as she murmured his name happily, stroking his hair.
"Humans. You've got no staying power," sighed Spike with disgust as he ground his hips harshly against Xander.
"Spike...Spike, unh, stop...hurts," groaned Xander as the vampire continued to drive into him. He tried to scramble away, but the vampire grabbed him and kissed the protests from his lips while Xander struggled with him. Spike pulled him back onto his cock and lifted Xander onto his pelvis, his strong arms forcing him to bounce up and down on his cock. Tears rolled freely down his cheeks as Xander tried desperately to move away, exhausted, but Spike held him tightly, twisting his nipples roughly as he rammed him, not willing to release his prey until he was fully sated.
"See? I tell you when it's finished. I make the rules. You belong to me!"
"No," sobbed Xander. "Fuck me all you want, but you will never own me!" He screamed when Spike jabbed him with incredible force. "Anya!"
Anya grasped Xander's hand. "Shh. I'm right here. You don't have to be scared of him, I'll never let him take you away. Focus on me, honey."
"Yours, Anya. Only yours," he gasped, holding her hand tightly as he rode Spike's cock.
She kissed him again just as Spike cried out, his face contorted as he jetted his cold seed into Xander with a few rough jerks. Spent, the two men crumpled onto the floor. Anya kissed Xander on the forehead and held him for a few moments before ducking into the kitchen for a glass of water. Spike moaned and wrapped his body around Xander, as the younger man drew breath in heavy sighs, both soaked and sticky.
"Did you mean what you said? Did I frighten you and give you nightmares?" asked Spike quietly.
"Yeah."
"Yes!" he roared, making Xander jump. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's said to me in a long time. I knew it! I still haven't lost it. There's some things those bloody Initiative doctors just can't take away! You may be a little chicken shit, but at least I still scare someone."
Xander couldn't hide his grin. "Y'know, I really hate you."
"Ditto. And your wife is an absolute harpy! I don't know how you can stand her. But what the hell...I'm willing to share you with her," Spike whispered as he ran his hand possessively over Xander's chest. "But I'm not willing to give you up. Not ever."
I must really be demented, because I don't want him to!
Spike slowly licked the traces of semen from Xander's body until he crawled out of his arms and embraced Anya in the doorway, kissing her face and neck gently as he ran his hands along her snuggly fleece bathrobe.
"I'm sorry, Ahn. No more secrets, I promise."
"Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson!" Anya giggled as she socked Xander playfully in the shoulder.
"Teach me again?" he teased, nuzzling her forehead.
"Well, that was peachy. Hey, wench...be a dear and snag me a beer out of the fridge, would ya?" asked Spike, as he hopped up onto the bed and rested against the headboard. "Sweet cheeks, throw me that pack of smokes from my jacket pocket, while she's at it."
"Ewww! You most certainly do not have permission to smoke in our home," cried Anya. "And I'm not your wench!"
"You could be, if you're lucky." Spike patted the bed. "C'mere, and I'll let you give me a blow job."
"Filthy pig! You're the kind of man who kept me in the vengeance business for a millennium!" Anya picked up the Super Soaker and blasted the naked vampire before he could roll off the bed.
"Xander!" Spike howled as his flesh smoked where he'd been doused with holy water. "Help! Your wife is a crazy woman! Make her stop!"
"Ahem. Are you begging me, Spike?" Xander marched over and snapped the leather manacles around Spike's wrists while Anya threatened him with the water rifle. "Sorry, she makes all the rules in this household. I just smile and do what I'm told, and sometimes she'll give me a Scooby snack."
"Hey! No fair!" Spike tugged against the restraints. "Lemme out of these!" Xander picked up the silk scarf and used it to gag the protesting vampire, securing it tightly.
"Mmmmrph!" Spike muttered into his gag angrily and strained against his bonds. Xander patted his cheek and laughed.
Heh, heh. Let's see how he likes it, for a change!
"Good, Xander. Make sure those cuffs are nice and tight. Always put your toys away when you're done with them, that's my policy." She put down the rifle and scrutinized the bound vampire carefully. She poked at his stomach and thighs, and fondled his penis like she was checking a ripe cantalope. She was completely unfazed by Spike's muffled insults. Even gagged, it wasn't hard to pick out key words and phrases, most of them obscene.
"I think he has good orgasm potential, but I wish he didn't talk so much. He's rude and offensive. Honestly, honey, if you're going to copulate with vampires, couldn't you have at least picked one with better manners and a little more meat on his bones? What about Angel? He's tall, attractive, polite, and has much better hair than Spike."
Xander coughed while Spike rolled his eyes and snorted, presenting Anya with his black lacquered middle finger.
"Spike, if you're going to be our sex toy, you will need to learn how to behave properly." Spike whined at being referred to as a toy. "I guess I'm going to have to write up a list of rules for you to follow. I trust Xander, but you're evil. Nobody likes you, including me. I don't trust you to keep the rough stuff to a minimum and make sure my husband isn't injured. In the interest of keeping Xander healthy, safe, and sane, I've decided that I will be on hand to supervise all sexual activity between you two, and I will participate when I see fit. To make it easy, I'll create a schedule, and I expect both of you to adhere to it."
Uh, schedule? Yeah, that sounds exciting and spontaneous...no more Spike jumping out and scaring the shit out of me before he fucks me. Hey, wait a minute, maybe she's on to something!
Spike stopped squirming and stared at Anya, not believing what he was hearing.
"Saturday and Sunday between the hours of 7:00 and 10:00 PM will be the default schedule for any sexual activity with Spike. Tuesday and Thursday are good TV nights, so no vampire sex on those days, although as Xander knows, I often enjoy having sex with him during the boring half hour after 'Friends.' Monday, and Wednesday are acceptable nights for pre-arranged copulation, as long as I have at least eight hours notice before any sexual activity commences. Friday is date night, so you're to keep your hands off of him, period."
"All new sexual acts must be approved in advance. I'll create a request form that you will complete with the types of erotic stimulation you wish to engage in with Xander, as well as a list of forbidden activities. Got it?"
Resigned, Spike shrugged his shoulders as if to say "sure, okay, whatever."
"And you, Xander? Are you okay with this?" asked Anya.
He pecked her on the cheek. "Whatever you say, boss!"
"Good. After we take a shower together, you can drive us to the International House of Pancakes. After all that fornicating, I need waffles and lots of maple syrup."
"What about Spike?"
"Leave him where he is," said Anya with a dismissive wave of her hand. "He's not going anywhere while it's still daylight. Say, I have an idea! I bought a new butt plug, so why don't you go fit him with it to see how he likes it. You'll find it in the bottom of the bag."
"Oh, I know Spike is going to love having a bunch of silicone shoved up his ass. Or maybe I should say *I'm* going to love it." He eagerly ripped open the package as Spike railed against his bonds, screaming against the gag. "Better you than me, buddy." Spike howled when Xander shoved him on his side and drove the six-inch plug home.
"Oops! Sorry I forgot the lube, Spikey. You know how it it." He patted Spike's ass, a huge grin on his face.
As Anya turned on the shower, she called out to Xander as he watched the vampire wriggle uncomfortably on the bed.
"When we get back in a few hours, I want to have intercourse with him and try out his penis. But he's so darned mouthy, I think I should keep him gagged the whole time. It makes him much more pleasant, don't you think? Then I'll watch you two copulate again. I never realized how hot gay sex could be until now! I want to see him penetrate you while you're standing up. Maybe I'll chain you to the curtain rod again like that one time, remember? Where we did that thing with the vacuum attachment? That reminds me, we need to pick up vacuum bags, aluminum foil, and more milk on our way back from IHOP."
She peeked her head out of the bathroom. "Well, you dirty boy, are you joining me or not?"
"Coming, dear! See ya later, Vamp-on-a-Stick!" Xander raced into the bathroom to join his giggling wife in the shower, leaving Spike alone to moan and scrabble at the mattress in a hopeless attempt to get the excruciating toy out of his butt.
Revenge is sweet! Spike may be able to get the best of me, but he's no match for my Anya!
The End
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